Advanced Hair XI

As children we all liked to imagine the ultimate line-ups of players in the same team, some even including where Superman would bat in the Steve Waugh lead Australian side. And as the rain continues to tap on the windows of my workplace I must admit the mind tends to walk off, it was a wandering afternoon when after seeing Jaques Kallis notch up his second 100 in the 3rd a deciding test match against India, the first South Africa to do such a feat that I noticed the extensive thatch work done on the great man’s head.


This is a man that had nothing and now has everything under the helmet. Which made myself, and workmate Andy start to think of many a great hair transplant cricketers, and the fact you could put together a very useful 11 we thought.

And so the afternoon was lost. The obvious choices were there early Warne, Gooch, Matthews, Crowe all of them have given us many a cheesy line on TV commercials. Doug the Rug was an easy one, and on some internet searching we also came up with a few others from our friends in the sub-continent. Ricky Ponting made the grade, it’s never been officially released but anyone that has followed the Tasmanians rise though the ranks can see there was a ‘patch’ in his career that seems to no longer be there. So he makes the side with an asterisk, but I’m sure we will all agree. Hamid Hassan the Afghan super star makes the side, but due to not being involved in test cricket he has no averages.

I must admit this side is very batting heavy with Sehwag batting a lot lower down the order than he may like, but we felt with Kallis, Crowe and Matthews we have plenty of part timers to couple Warne and Doug in the bowling department. Plus who needs bowlers when you’re scoring 800 runs.

Ricky Ponting is the official Captain, with Vaughn as his deputy(great conversations in the dressing room before play). Greg Matthews being the elder statesman we felt he wouldn’t be that agile in the field so like any good Village side we stuck the old man behind the stumps.

Advanced Hair XI
Graeme Gooch
Michael Vaughan
Ricky Ponting* C
Jacques Kallis
Martin Crowe
Virander Sehwag
Greg Matthews wk.
Shane Warne
Naved ul-Hasan
Doug Bollinger
Hamid Hassan